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this is about me......my actions, my thoughts, my observations. any similiarities to any other people, living or dead, is proof that they are ripping off me and my life. and i'm sueing. oh yes, i am. for a full concept of me, check out my site and the forum i admin, both linked at the right. and on the left, you can see your left speaker.

10/27/2004

Proposition stuff is over at my web page now-->>

And now for assorted stories...my computer is a piece of junk. The CD burner had already died, and last night the mouse died a tragic death. Thusly, today turned into get it fixed up day. Which meant my $$. Oh well.

The rain's back....so this will be fun tomorrow. The trailer park on san fernando near the 14 has news crews back waiting for it to flood again. Freaking vultures.

ANyways, once again, I have seen my philosophy on college to have been vindicated. You see, I've had a theory that one doesn't need to do well, but merely do ok and then wait for everyone else to drop around you. My Math 262 class has proven this muchly. Now, I try to pay attention, but theres something about an 1 1/2 hour class that doesn't work with me, and i find it difficult to stay awake. This is why, going into the test last week, I was reasonably worried. The strange thing is that on the test, though, I got the second highest score. A lot better than I'd been expecting. So, i'm happy about that. Considering my physics test from the same day was a 91....it was a good test day. And those are so rare.

My website recently passed 1000 hits...which is so cool. it is actually getting a fair number of hits now, mostly people that get to my articles from web searches. Oh, and theres also all the people that get to my webcomics. Those are big. I think someone in Canada bookmarked it. I've found that one particularly hilarious. For those of you that are slackers...read my stuff, comment, and do stuff like that.

And there always is the forum.

10/26/2004

Well, I'd been intending about talking about Iraq for my next post anyways and the stuff with hostages being taken and all and how that was effecting my view of Iraq, but at this point, there are things far more relivant than that. I guess this holds more relivance, obviously, to those I went to school with since it ties directly to school and Iraq, but so I've now had the first person I know been killed in Iraq. Ricky Slocum, who I've known since elementary school, died one of the past days after being there just three weeks as a Marine. Its still sinking in.
I think...the part that hits me most isn't neccessarily that he's dead....so much as now what I remember of him, especially from elementary school, is in a sense all thats left of him. He's not around...just memories of him. I keep having all these memories coming back, of speeches and stuff like that from class and its just...strange. I guess, its sort of like when Paul was killed, and I was remembering things about him, and it was the same feeling of how...those sorts of things are all that are really left.
There is one part that makes sorting this out harder than with Paul, though. I guess, its a lot harder to realise that he put himself in this situation. And I don't mean the "did something stupid and put himself in this situation" thing...I mean that he knew the risks of joining up and he still did so. He knew he could die, but he still decided to. And I can't even comprehend that. I guess, growing up has happened so fast that I never really realised I'm at a point where the people I've grown up with are mature enough that they can decide to do something that involves risking their lives. I can't imagine doing that. I can't imagine going through whatever happened at the end either. Of realising that cost was going to have to be paid.
I can talk, like I planned, just about how terrorists threatening to kill hostages and kidnapping children makes me feel about Iraq and how we have to finish our job there. About how our goal is to win that fight. But now, none of that really matters. Its a different perspective to me, but still I see it the same. He knew what was going on when he signed up, and he did. Something I could never do. And he died for that. And to me...that just makes me feel like its all the more important that we win this fight we started and not try to just cut our losses. Because then those losses lose meaning. And those losses are so very real to so many people now. THe way to make those people become immortalised is to win the battle that they died trying to fight.

10/24/2004

Every so often I let my brain take too much control of how I feel and I let myself analize things too far. And its always bad when that happens. Perhaps this is what happens when I have too rigid an ideology for life on the whole, is it what leads me into that which I have hated most and fought against the most in being a hypocrite. I look at the concept of Darwinism, of the strong surviving and the weak and useless being removed, and yet I continue to let myself live, someone who, by all means, should fall directly into that catagory of weak and useless. I can't stand those that are selfish and inconsiderate, or those that create problems, or those that do not put enough actions behind their words, and yet I am the paramount example of all of them. More and more I represent exactly what is wrong with humanity as a whole, but more and more, I condemn it in others. And yet, I can't help taht I believe in those concepts any more than it seems I can control that I am them. Its a skewed view to have of the world when you think that jerks of the world should be removed and yet you'd be the first to go if it were ever implimented. I'm not even going anywhere with my life at this point. Perhaps its bad enough if I had no idea of WHAT I want to or could be doing in the future, but it doesn't stop there. Instead I put it up to a level that theres nothing that I have skillswise to help me succeed in life to make something of myself. By college, most people have stuff that they are good at, good enough that it seems reasonable that they can base a future around it. I got nothing. And that doesn't look very liable to change any time soon.

So this leaves me always with the question of why I'm even alive still wasting resources. I mean, I can't justify it with a reason at all. But then, I think it goes back to that I have always been selfish to some extent, and this is perhaps the most blatant example. To know, and know clearly, along what path the common good lies and to disregard it in favor of yourself is the most selfish act one can do, and it seems that that is what I am best at. That I don't care, that I'm too stubborn. Not in the sense that I see that I can perservere or some optomistic and unrealistic junk like that; I know already that I don't belong and don't fit in with this society. Simply that its my way of spiting people. Spiting the people that wanted me to fail in the past, or at least assumed that I would, spiting the people that have betrayed me and tried to destroy me, spiting the many people that have wished me dead over the years so that they'd never have to deal with me further. That seems now to be why I'm still alive. Because its my way of showing people as a group that I know whats best and I still don't care about anything or anyone else.
Living; my most grand and most selfish act.

10/22/2004

So I spent tonight reading through all the initiatives that are on the California ballot. I don't mean the little blurbs in the sample ballot, I mean online reading through exactly what is proposed, what effect it would have, and the arguements for and aggainst. So I've put together my own little voting guide here for how to vote. At present, I just have a yes or no and a one sentence summary of the propostion and reason for my vote, but over the weekend or so, I'm going to try to put something more in depth that'll be on my web page that will argue each respective vote and have more info included in it. Still though, I will also recommend marking your sample ballot before-hand so you consider this all before you actually vote. And of course, if you're not sure on stuff, feel free to use my suggestions below! Also check out the California secretary of state's site if you want to read more on any of them. My next entry might discuss candidates, but probably only mildly, as I care more about legislation than legislators.



















My Voting Recommendation
PropositionVoteSupport
1AYesAn improved version of prop 65, this would prevent the state from taking money away from local government, meaning more money on a local level.
59YesA step in the right direction, 59 would make a lot more of what government does become public record and easily accessable by adding to the state Constitution the people's right to a lot of gov't documents.
60YesThis will prevent any changes from prop 62 in case 62 passes, but with a smaller percentage than this does.
60AYesAny surplus property sold by the state will go to pay off the borrowing that was approved last March to help shrink the costs of interest the state would have to pay.
61NoThis would give money to hospitals, and while that would be a good thing, it would take away from getting the state out of debt, so I think charity will have to take care of this for now.
62NoThis would mean only the two candidates with the highest votes in the primaries would be on the November ballots, but this would remove the chance for third parties in elections, and in some elections mean just two people from the same party were running. I consider it detrimental.
63NoThis is a tax that unfairly taxes just those with high incomes to take care of the mentally ill. This should be something being done with funds the state already has and its a counterproductive tax when we're trying to get the economy going again.
64YesThis prevents all those frivolous law suits and law suits just meant to get small businesses to settle if they can't fight the suit. Someone has to have been effected for suits now. Its closing a loophole bad lawyers had been exploiting.
65NoThis has been repaced by 1A, and all support for 65 is now backing 1A instead.
66NoThis would adjust the three strikes law to let thousands of criminals out immediately trying to "fix" a law taht works as crime rates are down to the level they were in the 60's. Not only a mistake, but one that will lead to people being killed, raped, and all sorts of fun things.
67NoThis is a tax on phones which will, amungst other things, raise business costs. The selling point is it will help 911 lines, but less than 1% of the money will actually go to them.
68NoOpens the door to gaming thats not controlled by Idian tribes and will be in downtown areas, which will be a crime issue as well as a traffic issue. Bad idea.
69YesThis will create a DNA database of all convicted felons in the state, as well as anyone arrested for felonies including murder and sex crimes. This is just following example of many other states, and would be very helpful in stopping crime. Especially if 66 passes.
70NoThis is going to give the Indian tribes too big a bargaining chip when it comes to renegotiating their deals with the state. Sort of a "do what we say" thing to the state, so its not really negotiations anymore.
71NoThis would put $3 billion into stem cell research. While stem cell research is very promising, the state isn't in a financial situation to do this, but once we're out of debt I would fully support this. For now, leave it to charities.
72NoThis would force companies to provide for health care, which is counter-productive to trying to rebuild the economy in California and lower the cost of doing business.
ANoFor Los Angeles county only, this is an increase in sales tax, and we don't need more taxes in an economy on the rebound.

10/18/2004

today was one of those days that reminds me why i don't like waking up in the morning.
I should've been tipped off it was gonna be bad waking up at 7, before my alarm, and sick. But the fact that i had 2 1/4 hours of traffic trying to get home this afternoon really took the cake. accident shut down the truck route, accident shut down the 14, passed an accident in the middle of boquet. it was really annoying. soo...i don't like days. oh, and it rained too.

weekend recap....
friday...kidnapped against my will when i didn't really feel like it...so, turned into a round up everyone then i was able to get a way to get back home shortly after via chris. though i feel it important to ntoe that he nearly crashed into his garage door. way to go chris! but seriously, good of him to provide the ride.

sunday went and saw Pom POm Zombies at the canyon theatre guild, which has like an all kid cast, and tom is actually one of the main characters. actually pretty good....basic plot is that zombies take over beach....lot of singing, lot of horrible horrible jokes....that type of feel. and tom wasn't all that bad. i believe i gave forbidden planet a 9 out of 10, i'm going to give this 7 out 0f 10. still really good overall, but not quite as good. it felt a bit crowded as often most of the cast is on stage. don't know why they do that really, but they did. still worth seeing, so get to it, all of you.


as the electoral college is up in the air this election...i've been tracking all this a lot...so i'm putting here several sites where you can see predictions for the electoral college and info on the polls. It looks like it'll come down to ohio and florida.
http://electoral-vote.com/
http://www.rasmussenreports.com/Electoral%20College%20Projection.htm
http://www.robertsilvey.com/notes/2004_electoral_college_updates/
http://www.dalythoughts.com/
http://www.econ.umn.edu/~amoro/Research/presprobs.html
http://www.presidentelect.org/e2004.html
http://www.electionprojection.com/elections2004.html
http://www.briancalhoun.com/

10/14/2004

Well, I forgot to update for Friday...so I'm doing that now. Cuz I forgot I had friday.

Its looking like I'm going to be get involved with something that might be really fun. My mom still sorta helps out with GATE at Santa Clarita Elementary. For those not in the know, GATE is Gifted and Talented Education, i think it was....I tested into it in like preschool technically, but was officially accepted to start in 2nd grade, a year earlier than they typically allow. Anyways, so the GATE program has decided to do a school newspaper. My mom being involved is a given because she's always involved with everything. But she can really only do the adult work... they still needed someone that knows the journalistic aspects to teach the kids. So, I've been sort of recruited into this. Which, I wasn't sure if i'd have time for...and still am not sure really, but it could well be a lot of fun to do. Especially to get kids interested in journalism, and get them going the right direction and realise that journalism is a very unique style of writing.
I also remember that i had been involved with the paper in elementary school for a semister or so. I mostly just wrote book reviews. But still, so I was involved.

So Friday the GATE kids went on a tour of the Signal and I went with because my mom wanted me to see everything that they would see so that I'd know what they'd seen if it'd come up later down the road. The tour was very nostalgic considering how many times i've gone on it at this point. The sad thing, though, is that they're fully digital now, so they don't have the part where you get to go into the dark room. That always was my favorite part. The other annoying thing...one of the adults asked about the sports games and how they're covered. And the writer that was giving the tour said they use high school and college students for that, and they're still looking for one more intern. People looked at me. Of course. Oh, and I have got to give major props to the kid that asked, "if the presses broke would you have to put that in the paper?"

10/11/2004

Update time again.
These are becoming like weekly just in that nothing happens during the week then I'm living it up on the weekend. So lets cover whats happened of late.
Last week during the week....nothing I can recall as noteworthy but I might add stuff or something. But so skipping to the weekend. Saturday I went to the UCLA Arizona game. That was a heck of a game. For starters, I've never been at a game where a safety has been scored, let alone in the first minute off a blocked punt. It was just a really powerful game, I thought. Other notable moments included a referee getting hit by a pass and Mercades Louis pushing into the end zone with like 7 people on the defensive team pushing him back. It was like rugby. Rose Bowl also has the best churros, it has been decreed. Overall UCLA won by..... um, a lot. They've got a tough fight next week against Cal though.
Its odd that I've been at this many games, since its more than the last couple years total, i think. But theres an element of enjoyment out of it, which is surprising. And hey, its something to do.

Sunday successfully past with my kidneys intact. I drove out to San Bernadino sunday to a party type thing I'd been invited to with people from LoGD. I'd intended to be there just two hours but was there four. Oh, taht and it took me an hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours to drive there. Such an insanely long drive, but not that hard to make it there, really. So got out there....we talked game, there was NFL game on....things were discussed, it was a good time to be had. Theres a group pic that'll be up later. Also cool that I have an open invite to head out there some other sunday, so i'll do that in future I figure. Cuz, it was just fun.

I'm realising though that on the whole...I'm shutting down socially again. Again I'm feeling out of place in some regards so I'm home doing nothing most of the time. And while technically I was out being social yesterday, I've not done much social stuff on a local level. Then again, theres been very few viable possibilities for that what with complications and all. I think I'm jsut going into another phase of feeling I'm out of place or something. Oh good. Oh well... and in a couple days I'll have a political blog. cuz, i'm sure everyone wants to see that

10/06/2004

a late post on last weekend and my adventures about southern california.

Starting off with Friday, Chris and I went and saw "return to the forbidden planet" down at the Canyon Theatre Guild. This is a sci-fi spoof of Shakespeare's "The Tempest" that incorporates music from like the 60s. How's THAT for a mix? It was hilarious, as chris will agree. I'd almost be tempted to watch it again, but that would involve paying for tickets this time, so I'll just watch it if tom gets it on DVD. Yeah, Tom was running lights. So during intermission I went to the tech booth with him to see the booth at the 'new' theatre. New lighting board, more fancily done. But least I could run lights old school. Back to the play, though, it was really good, definitly recommended. And it had "Go Now!" by the Moody Blues. So that just ruled, because they are so infrequently heard about that it rules when they are included. Also had "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys and "she's not there" by the Zombies. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Saturday went with my dad to the UCLA - San Diego State football game. Now, I've not gone to a game in years probably now. So it'd been a while. Still though, I think its the most I've ever gotten into a game while watching. Still remembered rules, penalties, etc, so that was a surprise for me. That, and it was a heck of a game. UCLA had a really strong defence that did most of the work of both stoping SDS and also had one of the three touchdowns. There were also 4 field goals. UCLA kept going for field goals at 4th and 1, so i don't see what was with that. You try an onside kick but you won't try getting one stinking yard from time to time? Still though, they won.... 33 to 10, i think it was. First touchdown came from like a 60 yard run to the end zone. Really good game, and I'm not a football person. Was actually pretty fun. And the Rose Bowl has THE best churros.
Oh, what of course has to be mentioned...there were drinking games going on in the parking lot before hand. Never seen those there before, but hey, its college. They were taped off, too....lol. Good news though was that after the game no one was lying passed out on the grass.

Sunday....nothing can be said past FILM FESTIVALS ROCK! To everybody within a 100 mile radius and could've gone, you're a loser. I am making exception for Bryan, cuz he had a reason. The rest of you though; for shame. So I went down to west hollywood for this...right off like Melrose, for the Liberty Film Festival. The basic concept; a conservative film festival right in liberal hollywood. Though, the whole...ideology thing, thats not me. What got me down there was that they were showing Michael Moore Hates America, which I'd been waiting for and hoping it would be good. I think ANYONE that has seen Bowling for Columbine or Fahrenheit 9/11 should see this. Proabably anyone that has read any of Moore's books too. I'm not going to cite specifics here, but I'll talk about general elements. First of all, a lot more of what Michael Wilson, the guy that made this, does isn't attack Moore directly, but go around the U.S. talking to people about trying to accomplish the American dream, like for example he talks with the author of "Whats so great about America" about the views of America held by people around the world. And just, average people that are working towards the American dream. The second part is talking about what a documentary IS. This is both a lot of interviewing of an oscar winning documentary maker and a lot of interviewing with Penn of Penn and Teller. The documentary maker talked a lot about what one does to make a documentary truthfully and honestly, while Penn talked a lot more about what deception is, and the limits on how truthful one can be, and stuff like that. It combined for a powerful point. The third part was trying to talk to Michael Moore to find out why Moore saw America so differently from Wilson. And so its chasing Moore around, and trying to contact Moore, and all sorts of stuff like that. Also very good. And it debunks some of Moore's stuff. Its not THE focus, but theres some of it.
In short, the movie was just totally awesome. Michael Wilson is my hero.

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