5/30/2004
My sleep cycle is so messed up right now. Friday i was up at 8, saturday at 9, and today at 10. no reasons for any of them, just was up. and of course, i don't actually do anything with my days, so with my normal sleep times, i'm getting into the neighborhood of like...15-18 hours online. my eyes are gonna start bleeding at this rate. and not in a good way.
i've successfully managed to accomplish doing absolutly nothing since i last had a real update. and i mean like nothing. period. i've been around my house, on the comp, doing nothing. not even like beating games or something.so yeah, that makes me rule or soemthing.
from tomorrow till thursday i'll be doing all my last tutoring for high school finals, so the money shall be rolling in. that'll be good. the more i can make, the pickier i get to be with a summer job. which i also need to get to next week. really should've done so this week or earlier, but it was a mix of either was busy or just...didn't care. :D but i want money so i'm goign to have to get to that soon enough.
oh wait, i have done one successful thing....or well, three....i've fully read three webcomics over the last half a week, and so i've added links to queen of wands, gu, and vg cats at my webpage. thats the thing you people don't interact at enough.
i should also add in that i should include one thing from yesterday. as i had promised the harem that i could be dragged out after my finals, yesterday late afternoon/early evening whatever i went and met jennie and kristal down at the park, as well as chris. oh the fun to be had. i think it must've seemed rather funny to those passing by, as we were at a table at the back, and there was lots of laughter and all, all the while with kristal and jennie taking swigs out of wine bottles (well sparkling cider, but they look the same). unfortunitly my camera is horrible otherwise i'd have some really good video of chris running away, chris being beaten, chris getting himself in trouble, etc. oh, and the final note. kristal did one of those ever comedic things by holding the bottle in her arm, then bending forward to get something, pouring half a bottle of sparkling cider over my right foot.
anyways, so as for today, i get to kill time for another 5 hours or so, then i've got 3 hours of tutoring. go me
i've successfully managed to accomplish doing absolutly nothing since i last had a real update. and i mean like nothing. period. i've been around my house, on the comp, doing nothing. not even like beating games or something.so yeah, that makes me rule or soemthing.
from tomorrow till thursday i'll be doing all my last tutoring for high school finals, so the money shall be rolling in. that'll be good. the more i can make, the pickier i get to be with a summer job. which i also need to get to next week. really should've done so this week or earlier, but it was a mix of either was busy or just...didn't care. :D but i want money so i'm goign to have to get to that soon enough.
oh wait, i have done one successful thing....or well, three....i've fully read three webcomics over the last half a week, and so i've added links to queen of wands, gu, and vg cats at my webpage. thats the thing you people don't interact at enough.
i should also add in that i should include one thing from yesterday. as i had promised the harem that i could be dragged out after my finals, yesterday late afternoon/early evening whatever i went and met jennie and kristal down at the park, as well as chris. oh the fun to be had. i think it must've seemed rather funny to those passing by, as we were at a table at the back, and there was lots of laughter and all, all the while with kristal and jennie taking swigs out of wine bottles (well sparkling cider, but they look the same). unfortunitly my camera is horrible otherwise i'd have some really good video of chris running away, chris being beaten, chris getting himself in trouble, etc. oh, and the final note. kristal did one of those ever comedic things by holding the bottle in her arm, then bending forward to get something, pouring half a bottle of sparkling cider over my right foot.
anyways, so as for today, i get to kill time for another 5 hours or so, then i've got 3 hours of tutoring. go me
5/29/2004
i feel this needs seeing given the Iraq situation and all
from GU
from GU
5/27/2004
lots and lots of stuff to cover so here we go
first things first, anyone taht knows anything about a black truck that was going around tuesday throwing water balloons let me know. i was turning around on osage when a truck drove past me, i heard a loud thud making me think that i'd just been hit then noticing the truck passed with a wide clearance, glanced in my rear view mirror and realised they'd hit me with a water baloon. i mean seriously, who just has one sitting around to throw at moving vehicles? after a short and unsuccessful chase down sycamore they got away so unfortunitly i don't have a license plate number on this one.
today was my last final of the year....physics. it actually went pretty smoothly. i'd go on about what stuff did or didn't give me problems, but that'd essentially just turn into conversation just between me and karl since i think he's the only one taking physics classes so hes the only one that would know what i was talking about. and if i wanted to say something just to karl, i'd just shoot myself.
i've got a week left of intense work, so that'll be good to get done. and i like getting money. i have realised one thing though. the teachers out here are very much incompetant. i mean, i don't expect teachers to be all that good....but when it gets to the point that i'm thinking that I, of all people, could be teaching these kids better, well thats the sign that the education system is horribly messed up. i mean, some people just shouldn't be in a classroom. i don't care how otherwise altruistic it is to want to teach, if they cant they shouldn't. it really makes it clear where the saying "those that can, do; those taht can't, teach" comes from.
i suppose on a better note is that i'm feeling like i'm in control of my life again. i'm making decisions, not letting them be forced on me. even though i plan on working over summer, i like that going into summer i'm in a position where i can get a job based on something i'd like to do, not just whatever i can get because i need money. its nice that i can afford to be selective on this. like, i think, its that freedom that doesn't involve any spending of money thats perhaps the best thing that the money i've got from tutoring has gotten me, is that i can relax about my finances. and aside from that....i finally have kicked my parents out of my academic stuff for the most part, which has taken far too long. its helped with tom giving distractions on that though. but so i'm finally not having to deal with nagging....and since i'm doing things on my own schedule and all, and since its all under my control...this really is the first time anything i've done in my life, on a large scale, has been something that was actually my accomplishment. i mean, it took me 19 years, but finally, i've actually got an accomplishment to my name. its a nice change from having only a long, long string of mistakes.
and the final good thing is.....i've found a happiness in the balance my life has going now. i mean, the last few days esp have been nice. and the wierd thing is that i'm waking up 7-8 on my own, even with late nights. its just how i'm working. and i like it. its like my life is my own for once.
first things first, anyone taht knows anything about a black truck that was going around tuesday throwing water balloons let me know. i was turning around on osage when a truck drove past me, i heard a loud thud making me think that i'd just been hit then noticing the truck passed with a wide clearance, glanced in my rear view mirror and realised they'd hit me with a water baloon. i mean seriously, who just has one sitting around to throw at moving vehicles? after a short and unsuccessful chase down sycamore they got away so unfortunitly i don't have a license plate number on this one.
today was my last final of the year....physics. it actually went pretty smoothly. i'd go on about what stuff did or didn't give me problems, but that'd essentially just turn into conversation just between me and karl since i think he's the only one taking physics classes so hes the only one that would know what i was talking about. and if i wanted to say something just to karl, i'd just shoot myself.
i've got a week left of intense work, so that'll be good to get done. and i like getting money. i have realised one thing though. the teachers out here are very much incompetant. i mean, i don't expect teachers to be all that good....but when it gets to the point that i'm thinking that I, of all people, could be teaching these kids better, well thats the sign that the education system is horribly messed up. i mean, some people just shouldn't be in a classroom. i don't care how otherwise altruistic it is to want to teach, if they cant they shouldn't. it really makes it clear where the saying "those that can, do; those taht can't, teach" comes from.
i suppose on a better note is that i'm feeling like i'm in control of my life again. i'm making decisions, not letting them be forced on me. even though i plan on working over summer, i like that going into summer i'm in a position where i can get a job based on something i'd like to do, not just whatever i can get because i need money. its nice that i can afford to be selective on this. like, i think, its that freedom that doesn't involve any spending of money thats perhaps the best thing that the money i've got from tutoring has gotten me, is that i can relax about my finances. and aside from that....i finally have kicked my parents out of my academic stuff for the most part, which has taken far too long. its helped with tom giving distractions on that though. but so i'm finally not having to deal with nagging....and since i'm doing things on my own schedule and all, and since its all under my control...this really is the first time anything i've done in my life, on a large scale, has been something that was actually my accomplishment. i mean, it took me 19 years, but finally, i've actually got an accomplishment to my name. its a nice change from having only a long, long string of mistakes.
and the final good thing is.....i've found a happiness in the balance my life has going now. i mean, the last few days esp have been nice. and the wierd thing is that i'm waking up 7-8 on my own, even with late nights. its just how i'm working. and i like it. its like my life is my own for once.
5/25/2004
two more finals down yesterday, last one thursday and i'm done. woot, nearly though. hopfully they're going well, but i don't know....lol.
integrate your mother.
of those that read this, someone hopfully can help with this. i want a site that i can put pics up as like a gallery thing for my landscapes and the like. smaller versions so that they can't actually be used to much, just looked at and told they rule. anyone know any sites for things along those lines? i'm looking in your direction on this one.
anyways, i've officially decided that life just likes to keep me guessing like way too much. which, i've now found...can have its upsides too.....but still, i'd rather it be a bit more straightforward. not the least of which is the fact that last night after i turned off this computer, there was a face with a roughly red glow staring back at me. really distinct too. see, its things like that that convince me i'm gonna die or something like that. be possessed. something.
integrate your mother.
of those that read this, someone hopfully can help with this. i want a site that i can put pics up as like a gallery thing for my landscapes and the like. smaller versions so that they can't actually be used to much, just looked at and told they rule. anyone know any sites for things along those lines? i'm looking in your direction on this one.
anyways, i've officially decided that life just likes to keep me guessing like way too much. which, i've now found...can have its upsides too.....but still, i'd rather it be a bit more straightforward. not the least of which is the fact that last night after i turned off this computer, there was a face with a roughly red glow staring back at me. really distinct too. see, its things like that that convince me i'm gonna die or something like that. be possessed. something.
5/23/2004
well, i've not done much, but what i have done is important. i've now put up every article that i've ever had published over at my website. notable once...the infamous patch adams review from 8th grade is now up......the Israel article that was later published annonymously.....and the senior editorial that no one thought i'd write cuz it was all, positive and stuff. check em out!
5/22/2004
long time without updating, mostly cuz i've not done all that much.
tuesday had my final for my independant study class, and i felt it went a lot better than i had thought it might. i avoided any liberal questions...and just stuck to the book material. i may not like eitehr side, but if you bash one, bash both. i'll find out how i did next week i think.
then i've been doing a lot of work still all this week, so thats good. cuz, you know, its money. i think i'll actually end up getting paid for the few hours of tutoring i did for someone online last night in math (amanda from journalism for those in the know), which is cool cuz, more money always is. and then i need to get job searching over next week to get a job during summer for more money.
my classes have all been winding down this week which has also been nice. my wednesday was the final quiz in my chem lab and i nearly got lynched, so that was sorta cool. i had the only A in the class...so, i enjoyed that, lol. I guess, i like knowing that with classes like that, where i don't have anyone telling me what to do parentally because my mom is sorta clueless with that class, that i can be the top. it loses something when i get yelled at all the time about the classes....cuz then, its no longer my accomplishment if i do well, because it doesn't feel like its something i earned.
this is where i'd add anything social i've done, but lets see, i've been talking alot on aim with people which i enjoy a lot, but i've not actually gone out much. which works, really. i prefer it taht way sometimes, i think. it lets me relax in ways i rarely can when i'm 'out' since that tends to stress me, not destress me. (not to be confused with distress me)
today of course is saturday, so its really not gone anywhere. i've started work on the chupathingie techno, and i've been listening to the star wars musical which absolutly rules. like, its been far too long since i last listened to it. i tried to update site stuff, and i've put some new stuff up on the comics page, but i wasn't able to do the journalism updates i wanted since my archieves are MIA. and im really angry about that, since i don't know where they could've gone. i suspect my mom moving stuff. i think i'll start putting pics up at photobucket later for a little gallery of pics also. maybe. we will see if i'm too lazy or not. (read: it ain't happening yet)
i've still got two finals monday, and one thursday, and another week worth of work, but i'm not really looking that far ahead yet. well, i never do. i've been avoiding the future, which sorta works.
and of course, general comment....anyone that actually reads this that hasnt been harrassed into it yet should be signed up with my forum, just cuz.
and the final note.....this is the fourth highest listing, i believe, when you search for chupathingie on google. yes, i am that cool.
tuesday had my final for my independant study class, and i felt it went a lot better than i had thought it might. i avoided any liberal questions...and just stuck to the book material. i may not like eitehr side, but if you bash one, bash both. i'll find out how i did next week i think.
then i've been doing a lot of work still all this week, so thats good. cuz, you know, its money. i think i'll actually end up getting paid for the few hours of tutoring i did for someone online last night in math (amanda from journalism for those in the know), which is cool cuz, more money always is. and then i need to get job searching over next week to get a job during summer for more money.
my classes have all been winding down this week which has also been nice. my wednesday was the final quiz in my chem lab and i nearly got lynched, so that was sorta cool. i had the only A in the class...so, i enjoyed that, lol. I guess, i like knowing that with classes like that, where i don't have anyone telling me what to do parentally because my mom is sorta clueless with that class, that i can be the top. it loses something when i get yelled at all the time about the classes....cuz then, its no longer my accomplishment if i do well, because it doesn't feel like its something i earned.
this is where i'd add anything social i've done, but lets see, i've been talking alot on aim with people which i enjoy a lot, but i've not actually gone out much. which works, really. i prefer it taht way sometimes, i think. it lets me relax in ways i rarely can when i'm 'out' since that tends to stress me, not destress me. (not to be confused with distress me)
today of course is saturday, so its really not gone anywhere. i've started work on the chupathingie techno, and i've been listening to the star wars musical which absolutly rules. like, its been far too long since i last listened to it. i tried to update site stuff, and i've put some new stuff up on the comics page, but i wasn't able to do the journalism updates i wanted since my archieves are MIA. and im really angry about that, since i don't know where they could've gone. i suspect my mom moving stuff. i think i'll start putting pics up at photobucket later for a little gallery of pics also. maybe. we will see if i'm too lazy or not. (read: it ain't happening yet)
i've still got two finals monday, and one thursday, and another week worth of work, but i'm not really looking that far ahead yet. well, i never do. i've been avoiding the future, which sorta works.
and of course, general comment....anyone that actually reads this that hasnt been harrassed into it yet should be signed up with my forum, just cuz.
and the final note.....this is the fourth highest listing, i believe, when you search for chupathingie on google. yes, i am that cool.
5/17/2004
couple days to catch up on.....saturday i was called at....oooh....i'd say it was maybe 11 in the morning when i was told that i had to get ready before jennie showed up at my house. of course, the fact taht i've been up till like 4 many nights of late meant i was still in bed when jennie called.....but so i went and got myself ready, because...well, yeah. so, we went and met up with kristal during her lunch break, and some stuff kristal said about how theres a nice part of sylmar, and the fact taht jennie didn't know where sylmar was and i did meant that when kristal went back to work, jennie and i drove down to sylmar (for those not in the know, its between the 210 and the 5, just north of where the 405 splits off) and drove through, and wrote down numbers for appartments and stuff so that jennie could look em up later. returned to her appartment, and she went online and was checking them out while i just sorta laid around, cuz, thats what i do. was returned home, spent rest of afternoon nad evening reading and around comp.
sunday, i made a good $70 tutoring two people, so that always rules. i don't know why, but i'm trying to make as much extra money now as i can. its not like i've got much to do with it, but oh well. that and i'm gonna have to get looking for a job for summer too, so that i've got something to do and can still afford my extravagant lifestyle that i've grown so accustomed to whilst making a killing with my brain.
and this brings us to monday, which is today. short day of school, and i think i slept through....virtually every class. go me. but it was restful sleep. and now i'm up for a late work night until....10:15 i think. it's gonna be a long night, but at least the money is gonna be good for it. and i still gotta read the rest of the book for my final tomorrow....but like i'm actually gonna do that now.
sunday, i made a good $70 tutoring two people, so that always rules. i don't know why, but i'm trying to make as much extra money now as i can. its not like i've got much to do with it, but oh well. that and i'm gonna have to get looking for a job for summer too, so that i've got something to do and can still afford my extravagant lifestyle that i've grown so accustomed to whilst making a killing with my brain.
and this brings us to monday, which is today. short day of school, and i think i slept through....virtually every class. go me. but it was restful sleep. and now i'm up for a late work night until....10:15 i think. it's gonna be a long night, but at least the money is gonna be good for it. and i still gotta read the rest of the book for my final tomorrow....but like i'm actually gonna do that now.
5/14/2004
so, the redeemer rules. don't know what i'm talking about? i'll explain at the end. this is what we in the know call a 'teaser'.
ok, so what have i done the last few days....well, its been almost entirly school and work. so its not been terribly exciting. though, last night jennie and chris did show up as jennie wanted to go get food.....of course, i forgot what that usually means....is that ends up being like....and hour and a half thing, and when i've been working all afternoon/evening... welll yeah. my problem for not really thinking about all that. esp since it meant that i didn't get my homework done last night because theres a cut off on that. oh well.
weekend will probably be a lot of school and work stuff too...since i'm foolishly trying to earn all the money i can now as though i actually had something to work towards in my life monetarily. website might get some updating too over weekend, even though it doesn't actually get visited, per se. and then, got my final on tuesday to study for, have to read a book i've barely started on california politics.
and now, back to the teaser....in playing unreal, i found the redeemer on the dawn map. that, thing, rules. like, immensly. blew up three people and a nexus in one shot :) video games really do let you act out your fantasies.
ok, so what have i done the last few days....well, its been almost entirly school and work. so its not been terribly exciting. though, last night jennie and chris did show up as jennie wanted to go get food.....of course, i forgot what that usually means....is that ends up being like....and hour and a half thing, and when i've been working all afternoon/evening... welll yeah. my problem for not really thinking about all that. esp since it meant that i didn't get my homework done last night because theres a cut off on that. oh well.
weekend will probably be a lot of school and work stuff too...since i'm foolishly trying to earn all the money i can now as though i actually had something to work towards in my life monetarily. website might get some updating too over weekend, even though it doesn't actually get visited, per se. and then, got my final on tuesday to study for, have to read a book i've barely started on california politics.
and now, back to the teaser....in playing unreal, i found the redeemer on the dawn map. that, thing, rules. like, immensly. blew up three people and a nexus in one shot :) video games really do let you act out your fantasies.
5/11/2004
well, its tuesday. good for tuesday. lets see whats happened.....
sunday i had work and i think that was about it. i think i played unreal and did homework also, but thats beside the point.
monday was my last day of my physics lab so that was cool, meant i was home earlier than normal, and so i still had my whole work load in afternoon/evening, but of course, money is a good thing. its being a good week financially, that and esp with nights like tonight...tutoring from 5 till 10:45. long long day, and of course, my being worn from tutoring was used against me as a sign i should go right to bed. parents.
to jump back though....did the trading card thing last night and tomorrow as instructed, but it seems to not be good enough or something. i think it needs redoing or something, from what jennie said. and of course, i was up till like 4 on aim with liz, primarily. roughly. which is a heck of a late night, but didn't go to school today. though at least i was up before 9:30, so sleep cycle-wise, i'm back on track with stuff, i think. unless my parents decide to mess with it again. i'm really annoyed that they still feel the need for some concept of a bed time becauae they know better with it all. i mean, i'm having to manage all my own times for classes and work, so i think it shows that i can take care of that for myself.
oh well..plus side, this will be a very good week financially i think.
sunday i had work and i think that was about it. i think i played unreal and did homework also, but thats beside the point.
monday was my last day of my physics lab so that was cool, meant i was home earlier than normal, and so i still had my whole work load in afternoon/evening, but of course, money is a good thing. its being a good week financially, that and esp with nights like tonight...tutoring from 5 till 10:45. long long day, and of course, my being worn from tutoring was used against me as a sign i should go right to bed. parents.
to jump back though....did the trading card thing last night and tomorrow as instructed, but it seems to not be good enough or something. i think it needs redoing or something, from what jennie said. and of course, i was up till like 4 on aim with liz, primarily. roughly. which is a heck of a late night, but didn't go to school today. though at least i was up before 9:30, so sleep cycle-wise, i'm back on track with stuff, i think. unless my parents decide to mess with it again. i'm really annoyed that they still feel the need for some concept of a bed time becauae they know better with it all. i mean, i'm having to manage all my own times for classes and work, so i think it shows that i can take care of that for myself.
oh well..plus side, this will be a very good week financially i think.
5/10/2004
well....its 1:30 in the morning on a sunday....thats good for having to be up in 5 hours. i've just updated my site with 5 more poems and 10 articles for the journalism section, so i've been productive. of course, 3 of the poems need titles and i'm taking suggestions on taht.
lets see, as for what i've been up to......friday night me, bryan, kristal, and jennie went down to shakey's in northridge, which was cool. then yesterday i just stayed home all day, played unreal and worked on my site, today was much the same, with a bit of work thrown into the mix. now its the start of another fun week....only good thing is that i think i get to leave my physics lab tomorrow like after 10 minutes because i'm set for an A in there.
lets see, as for what i've been up to......friday night me, bryan, kristal, and jennie went down to shakey's in northridge, which was cool. then yesterday i just stayed home all day, played unreal and worked on my site, today was much the same, with a bit of work thrown into the mix. now its the start of another fun week....only good thing is that i think i get to leave my physics lab tomorrow like after 10 minutes because i'm set for an A in there.
5/08/2004
i'm not doing much and i said i'd do this at some point....
so this is taken from Loren
A is for - Age: 19
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No
C is for - Career in Future: i wish i knew
D is for - Dead person you would like to meet: Sir Alec Guiness
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: Star Wars Holiday Special
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: Poison by Alice Cooper
G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: Sam's the only one
H is for - Hometown: Santa Clarita
I is for - Instruments you play: nothing
J is for - Job title: Private tutor
L is for - Living places: at home
M is for - Most memorable moment of the day: um....playing unreal
N is for - Number of people you've kissed in the past year: 1
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: foot surgery
P is for - Phobia[s]: heights, to a degree dogs, probably most physical contact
Q is for - Quote you like: since it doesn't say from pop culture...."cheap makes it real"
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: two and a half years
S is for - Sexuality: straight
T is for - Time you wake up everyday: as early as 6:45 if i have to be. today....11:30-12
U is for - Unique trait(s): not really, no
V is for - Vegetable you love: cucumber...good on salads
W is for - Worst habit: stubborn
X is for - X-rays you've had: dental stuff probably....arm, feet...thats all i know
Y is for - Yummy food you make: my sandwhiches that can stop a heart
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Zodiac
last kiss: Jan 9th
last good cry: i think the concept of a "good cry" is more of a girl thing
last library book checked out: don't even remember...probably for my deism paper
last movie seen: i think it was part of snatch at kristals
last book read: Da Vinci code. highly recommended
last cuss word uttered: no idea what or when....long into the past
last beverage drank: Coke last night
last food consumed: Shakey's pizza last night
last phone call: Jennie this morning about going to ventura
last tv show watched: friends, when someone else was watching it and i was doing physics. bad idea.
last shoes worn: um....my shoes. i don't know what they are
last cd played: na....mp3 player, so i don't play cds themselves
last item bought: dinner last night
last downloaded: song by fleetwood mac was most recent thing, i think
last annoyance: lag in Unreal
last disappointment: no one being consistantly online last night
last soda drank: coke
last thing handwritten: um....a note saying i was leaving last night. before that? a letter, i think
last word spoken: something along lines of telling my mom to stop yelling at me
last sleep: today 2ish till 11:30
last im: Loren and Alissa
last weird encounter: all my encounters are wierd. being imed at 2 in the morning to call jennie and kristal so that i could look up if bruce willis was in some movie was prob most recent though
last ice cream eaten: rainbow sherbet, i believe.....from when chris was tied up
last amused: checking forum
last time wanting to die: depends on extent. to some degree its always there....last time i was wanting to kill myself....thats not been for.....maybe at least year and a half
last time in love: can't quite answer this, all things given
last time hugged: hugged by someone else.....back in early feb. last time i hugged someone....jan 9th at lax.
last time scolded: a few minutes ago by my mom about how i should be going to something at coc or something
last chair sat in: swivel chair at comp
last lipstick used: being a guy, i don't use lipstick. so n/a
last shirt worn: Saugus shirt
last time dancing: never has happened
last show attended: Starlight Mints down at troubadour would i guess be only showlike thing i can think of
last webpage visited: my forum, cleveronlynot
so this is taken from Loren
A is for - Age: 19
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No
C is for - Career in Future: i wish i knew
D is for - Dead person you would like to meet: Sir Alec Guiness
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: Star Wars Holiday Special
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: Poison by Alice Cooper
G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: Sam's the only one
H is for - Hometown: Santa Clarita
I is for - Instruments you play: nothing
J is for - Job title: Private tutor
L is for - Living places: at home
M is for - Most memorable moment of the day: um....playing unreal
N is for - Number of people you've kissed in the past year: 1
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: foot surgery
P is for - Phobia[s]: heights, to a degree dogs, probably most physical contact
Q is for - Quote you like: since it doesn't say from pop culture...."cheap makes it real"
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: two and a half years
S is for - Sexuality: straight
T is for - Time you wake up everyday: as early as 6:45 if i have to be. today....11:30-12
U is for - Unique trait(s): not really, no
V is for - Vegetable you love: cucumber...good on salads
W is for - Worst habit: stubborn
X is for - X-rays you've had: dental stuff probably....arm, feet...thats all i know
Y is for - Yummy food you make: my sandwhiches that can stop a heart
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Zodiac
last kiss: Jan 9th
last good cry: i think the concept of a "good cry" is more of a girl thing
last library book checked out: don't even remember...probably for my deism paper
last movie seen: i think it was part of snatch at kristals
last book read: Da Vinci code. highly recommended
last cuss word uttered: no idea what or when....long into the past
last beverage drank: Coke last night
last food consumed: Shakey's pizza last night
last phone call: Jennie this morning about going to ventura
last tv show watched: friends, when someone else was watching it and i was doing physics. bad idea.
last shoes worn: um....my shoes. i don't know what they are
last cd played: na....mp3 player, so i don't play cds themselves
last item bought: dinner last night
last downloaded: song by fleetwood mac was most recent thing, i think
last annoyance: lag in Unreal
last disappointment: no one being consistantly online last night
last soda drank: coke
last thing handwritten: um....a note saying i was leaving last night. before that? a letter, i think
last word spoken: something along lines of telling my mom to stop yelling at me
last sleep: today 2ish till 11:30
last im: Loren and Alissa
last weird encounter: all my encounters are wierd. being imed at 2 in the morning to call jennie and kristal so that i could look up if bruce willis was in some movie was prob most recent though
last ice cream eaten: rainbow sherbet, i believe.....from when chris was tied up
last amused: checking forum
last time wanting to die: depends on extent. to some degree its always there....last time i was wanting to kill myself....thats not been for.....maybe at least year and a half
last time in love: can't quite answer this, all things given
last time hugged: hugged by someone else.....back in early feb. last time i hugged someone....jan 9th at lax.
last time scolded: a few minutes ago by my mom about how i should be going to something at coc or something
last chair sat in: swivel chair at comp
last lipstick used: being a guy, i don't use lipstick. so n/a
last shirt worn: Saugus shirt
last time dancing: never has happened
last show attended: Starlight Mints down at troubadour would i guess be only showlike thing i can think of
last webpage visited: my forum, cleveronlynot
5/06/2004
new stuffs...can't go wrong with new stuff. oh wait, you can.
lets see, first things first.....the other day when i got home i was turning off my mp3 player and taking keys out of ignition when i saw someone walk by the side of the chupathingie. when i looked up to see why someone was there, the person was gone. and this was a matter of...seconds at most. and in broad daylight. i've come to two conclusions as to what this could be what with the frquency of thigns i've been seeing. either i'm completely insane, or there are paranormal forces making the barrier between me and the dead thinner in some way of indicating that it is time for me to kill myself. so, you know, thats interesting, albeit unnerving.
in my chem class the other day, i broke a thermometer in half on accident. convieniently, the mercury didn't seem to spill anywhere, and i may have avoided having to pay for it, but i'm still not terribly happy that it happened. i'm also rather glad that while it scratched me up, it didn't break the skin. and it was about the only thing that made yesterday actually interesting. oh well, that and that on my way to school i repeatedly saw bryan. now that was odd stuff. first getting on the 14, where we were back and forth till the 5, then i caught up with him again on nordhoff and so we were side by side all the way to csun. made for an interesting morning even though i was also 15 minutes late to my chem midterm.
finally.....ok, i try to avoid personal notes in here because they seem to bug people with how my mind works, but i'm doing one anyways. those of you that would rather avoid it, i'd suggest stopping now.
you all gone? good......ok...i'm finding myself feeling depressed more and more for lack of what i would consider a 'comfortable' social life. its really called attention to just how different i see talking to people online from other forms of communication, and how its something that i feel more comfortable with, on the whole. but of late, its really suffering, so to speak.....a mix of my schedule being busy, other people having busy schedules, and then adding to that that there are some people that have for most part stopped talking to me online, or stopped going online.....and also just time differences in a couple other cases. its led to a lot more of the time i'm online being just me relativly alone, which is probably since i still keep my hours that i used to as far as how much and when i'm online. i guess i shouldn't be surprised that it makes that much of an influence on me, its just that, its odd how on the whole, talking to people offline often doesn't fill that sort of void. i guess it shows just how much of an antisocial type of nerd i am, so in that way its been rather insightful, but still, no less depressing.
lets see, first things first.....the other day when i got home i was turning off my mp3 player and taking keys out of ignition when i saw someone walk by the side of the chupathingie. when i looked up to see why someone was there, the person was gone. and this was a matter of...seconds at most. and in broad daylight. i've come to two conclusions as to what this could be what with the frquency of thigns i've been seeing. either i'm completely insane, or there are paranormal forces making the barrier between me and the dead thinner in some way of indicating that it is time for me to kill myself. so, you know, thats interesting, albeit unnerving.
in my chem class the other day, i broke a thermometer in half on accident. convieniently, the mercury didn't seem to spill anywhere, and i may have avoided having to pay for it, but i'm still not terribly happy that it happened. i'm also rather glad that while it scratched me up, it didn't break the skin. and it was about the only thing that made yesterday actually interesting. oh well, that and that on my way to school i repeatedly saw bryan. now that was odd stuff. first getting on the 14, where we were back and forth till the 5, then i caught up with him again on nordhoff and so we were side by side all the way to csun. made for an interesting morning even though i was also 15 minutes late to my chem midterm.
finally.....ok, i try to avoid personal notes in here because they seem to bug people with how my mind works, but i'm doing one anyways. those of you that would rather avoid it, i'd suggest stopping now.
you all gone? good......ok...i'm finding myself feeling depressed more and more for lack of what i would consider a 'comfortable' social life. its really called attention to just how different i see talking to people online from other forms of communication, and how its something that i feel more comfortable with, on the whole. but of late, its really suffering, so to speak.....a mix of my schedule being busy, other people having busy schedules, and then adding to that that there are some people that have for most part stopped talking to me online, or stopped going online.....and also just time differences in a couple other cases. its led to a lot more of the time i'm online being just me relativly alone, which is probably since i still keep my hours that i used to as far as how much and when i'm online. i guess i shouldn't be surprised that it makes that much of an influence on me, its just that, its odd how on the whole, talking to people offline often doesn't fill that sort of void. i guess it shows just how much of an antisocial type of nerd i am, so in that way its been rather insightful, but still, no less depressing.
5/04/2004
so.....its 1:20 in the morning....and i was supposed to be in bed at one. so naturally i know i'm in trouble when out of the corner of my eye, i notice that someone just passed to the right of me going from hallway towards like water cooler. because you know, that means one of the parents is up and about to yell at me. of course, i'm in more trouble when i turn round to realise that neither of them are out here.
5/03/2004
so....i'd like to start off this entry with a couple songs dedicated to all those people that were stuck in traffic in san fernando this morning....
those songs are "suicide solution," "suicide is painless," and "jump"
first thigns first....long day....its really hot, and there was lots of traffic. its days like this that really make me wish i lived somewhere nicer, just that'd be better temps, and easier to get around, and just.....nicer. of course, i got no where else to go. long day of classes, but aren't they all like that.
on a different note though, i'd like to discuss the supposed cause of all the traffic. from what i've heard, it was caused by a guy that was going to jump from the bridge over the 118 at reseda. now, my main thing with this is.....if you're going to kill yourself, at least don't be selfish about it. i mean, i'm not going to get into that "suicide just hurts the people around you" bit, thats now what i mean. its that, ok, if you're ready to just kill yourself and you're going to go for it, then just get it over with. that the police had time to respond shows that the guy was just making a big scene more than anything else, he wasn't actually trying to kill himself. so stop pretending like you are.
i mean, at least be considerate. if you're gonna make a scene....make it somewhere where you're not going to be inconvieniencing thousands of people like that. thats the selfish bit....to cause all that just so maybe someone will care about you. i mean....if you want attention, seek attention, if you want to kill yourself, kill yourself. don't mix the two up like that. its just inconsiderate and annoying. sort out what you're tryign to accomplish.
those songs are "suicide solution," "suicide is painless," and "jump"
first thigns first....long day....its really hot, and there was lots of traffic. its days like this that really make me wish i lived somewhere nicer, just that'd be better temps, and easier to get around, and just.....nicer. of course, i got no where else to go. long day of classes, but aren't they all like that.
on a different note though, i'd like to discuss the supposed cause of all the traffic. from what i've heard, it was caused by a guy that was going to jump from the bridge over the 118 at reseda. now, my main thing with this is.....if you're going to kill yourself, at least don't be selfish about it. i mean, i'm not going to get into that "suicide just hurts the people around you" bit, thats now what i mean. its that, ok, if you're ready to just kill yourself and you're going to go for it, then just get it over with. that the police had time to respond shows that the guy was just making a big scene more than anything else, he wasn't actually trying to kill himself. so stop pretending like you are.
i mean, at least be considerate. if you're gonna make a scene....make it somewhere where you're not going to be inconvieniencing thousands of people like that. thats the selfish bit....to cause all that just so maybe someone will care about you. i mean....if you want attention, seek attention, if you want to kill yourself, kill yourself. don't mix the two up like that. its just inconsiderate and annoying. sort out what you're tryign to accomplish.
so....its about 1....i'm walking along my hallway from my bedroom to the computer....and i casually look towards my right as i pass my living room. between me and a white wall three feet away, i see a pair of glowing red eyes that disappear after a split second. like, maybe half a second or so. maybe a foot away from me, or a foot and a half. around it...total darkness. not even like, being able to see the wall behind it really, i just know its there.
now, add this to friday when i saw a large featureless black object about the size of a crow fly up from behind a table and straight past my head while i was inside and on the other computer and i think i can rightfully be worried. someone get me out of here.
now, add this to friday when i saw a large featureless black object about the size of a crow fly up from behind a table and straight past my head while i was inside and on the other computer and i think i can rightfully be worried. someone get me out of here.
5/02/2004
well.....today. wow. as is the universe's fun way of messing with my life, today did in fact mean that this birthday weekend has successfully topped the events of my last birthday. and here i was thinking that nothing could be more traumatic than that. and once again, god shows me just how wrong i can be. i'm going to be omitting just what all this entailed....but, well, i suppose i shouldn't be surprised. at this rate, next birthday i'll be dead or in hospital. or someone i know will be. heres the sign to start severing connections with me.
anyways....aside from that all.....was hanging out with jennie and kristal for significant period of time.....got my present from jennie....which was a comic book of my picking...and while i'm mentioning that i think i'll do a run down of birthday stuff...got 4 books from my parents as well as "reefer madness" from my dad......my brother got me kill bill, kristal got me a large sum of cadbury eggs, and anyone not listed here can be expecting repercussions for their failures to act.
anyways....aside from that all.....was hanging out with jennie and kristal for significant period of time.....got my present from jennie....which was a comic book of my picking...and while i'm mentioning that i think i'll do a run down of birthday stuff...got 4 books from my parents as well as "reefer madness" from my dad......my brother got me kill bill, kristal got me a large sum of cadbury eggs, and anyone not listed here can be expecting repercussions for their failures to act.
ok....so, lets cover an update of the last......little while....sort of a day or two or something.
so friday, something was more or less going to have to happen.....so i decided that i'd have my revenge and i picked for the night that people would come over to my house, there would be pizza, and we'd watch the star wars holiday special. its the only way i was gonna get that viewed, so thats the important thing. so jennie, kristal, and chris came over....and so they are now scarred....and in the case of chris, rescarred. or well, kristal more than jennie.
and i got a whole lot of cadbury eggs from kristal, so that works.
then saturday....well, i didn't feel like doing homework and so instead it became an oddly active day. i went and picked up jennie around 3 or 3:30 or so and we went to inandout. well, once she was ready to be leaving, did have to wait for that, but it was an understandable wait. so, after lunch, went over to bestbuy, and ran into sam, talked to him for a bit, then i ended up buying a thing for pc with 80 atari games. this will be great fun. so, then we went and picked up kristal from work since it was just about 5....then returned her to her home so she could take care of some post-work stuff....then decided we'd head for bowling.....so i try calling people, realise that chris is gone, danowitz is just busylike, or was....and bryan, well, bryan is just messed up to an extreme degree now. i mean, beyond the point its funny.
so, kristal made request that her bf go, which was fine by me (asked to me as i was driving and would have to get him), and i had to stop by my house to get shoes and socks. i include this part as it became rather funny. so, same time as i get home a friend of my brother's drove up...so i came inside with jennie and kristal waiting out in the chupathingie while i came inside....and so i'm getting shoes and socks on and stuff, and the friend of my brother's just goes "you know you have two girls out in your car, right?" i'd gone back out to get some junk out of there, when i come back in, i'd put it in a corner, and figured that i'd let my mom know i'd clean it later.....so i told my mom that i'd just cleaned out the stuff in the backseat of the jeep.....and well...with my brother's friend...and the comments about why i needed the backseat of the jeep cleaned out with two girls out in it...well, yeah....one can see just how that sort of thing would go. least it has good retelling value.
so, we pick up kristal's boy, then headed to the alley...i think we were there for just over an hour...we bowled two games...i won the first, kristal won the second. jennie in particular had an interesting style in that....she'd just carelessly through the ball down the lane....but she was doing very well with that still though. it was impressive. after that....little bit from the arcade... i played pinball....the rest played ddr, rotating about who was playing somewhat, teaming up, etc....
then had to take jennie to her mom's house, returned kristal and david to kristals house, then i went home since i knew there was leftover birthday stuff and also wasn't feeling terribly well. was home for a bit, then got told to go back.....so, i caved on that, went back. ended up mostly just driving kristal and david around in kristals search for pudding while jennie was back at kristal's watching.....um, i forget what. then i finally came home about 1:30, got to sleep. and now i'm up again and doing nothing.
so friday, something was more or less going to have to happen.....so i decided that i'd have my revenge and i picked for the night that people would come over to my house, there would be pizza, and we'd watch the star wars holiday special. its the only way i was gonna get that viewed, so thats the important thing. so jennie, kristal, and chris came over....and so they are now scarred....and in the case of chris, rescarred. or well, kristal more than jennie.
and i got a whole lot of cadbury eggs from kristal, so that works.
then saturday....well, i didn't feel like doing homework and so instead it became an oddly active day. i went and picked up jennie around 3 or 3:30 or so and we went to inandout. well, once she was ready to be leaving, did have to wait for that, but it was an understandable wait. so, after lunch, went over to bestbuy, and ran into sam, talked to him for a bit, then i ended up buying a thing for pc with 80 atari games. this will be great fun. so, then we went and picked up kristal from work since it was just about 5....then returned her to her home so she could take care of some post-work stuff....then decided we'd head for bowling.....so i try calling people, realise that chris is gone, danowitz is just busylike, or was....and bryan, well, bryan is just messed up to an extreme degree now. i mean, beyond the point its funny.
so, kristal made request that her bf go, which was fine by me (asked to me as i was driving and would have to get him), and i had to stop by my house to get shoes and socks. i include this part as it became rather funny. so, same time as i get home a friend of my brother's drove up...so i came inside with jennie and kristal waiting out in the chupathingie while i came inside....and so i'm getting shoes and socks on and stuff, and the friend of my brother's just goes "you know you have two girls out in your car, right?" i'd gone back out to get some junk out of there, when i come back in, i'd put it in a corner, and figured that i'd let my mom know i'd clean it later.....so i told my mom that i'd just cleaned out the stuff in the backseat of the jeep.....and well...with my brother's friend...and the comments about why i needed the backseat of the jeep cleaned out with two girls out in it...well, yeah....one can see just how that sort of thing would go. least it has good retelling value.
so, we pick up kristal's boy, then headed to the alley...i think we were there for just over an hour...we bowled two games...i won the first, kristal won the second. jennie in particular had an interesting style in that....she'd just carelessly through the ball down the lane....but she was doing very well with that still though. it was impressive. after that....little bit from the arcade... i played pinball....the rest played ddr, rotating about who was playing somewhat, teaming up, etc....
then had to take jennie to her mom's house, returned kristal and david to kristals house, then i went home since i knew there was leftover birthday stuff and also wasn't feeling terribly well. was home for a bit, then got told to go back.....so, i caved on that, went back. ended up mostly just driving kristal and david around in kristals search for pudding while jennie was back at kristal's watching.....um, i forget what. then i finally came home about 1:30, got to sleep. and now i'm up again and doing nothing.
